Are you ready for the Mardi Gras?

Oh yes, there will be Bawd.

Intimately, attached, no doubt, to Sen. David Vitter.

The Krewe du Vieux - a collection of excrutiatingly satirical subkrewes dedicated to the ribald skewering of the city's pompous, arrogant and incompetent - is sharpening its nails and preparing to roll with the theme "Magical Misery Tour" on Jan. 19.

In 2006, Walter "Mr. Bill" Williams took the throne as the monarch of the KDV, after years of letting his animated creatures warn of the looming doom of coastline flooding. Last year, Times-Picayune columnist-gone-mad Chris Rose donned a surprisingly natural-looking Mad Hatter's outfit and climbed on the throne as ruler of the Habitat for Insanity.

This year's King is Reginal Lewis, Mardi Gras Indian and Streetcar Wrangler, who will lead the subkrewes and their mule-drawn floats on an extended new route starting and ending in the Marigny.

The krewe and its 17 subkrewes leave no stone unturned, no subject taboo. The Mystic Krewe of Spermes, just to set the scene, cavort around the street with a school of giant sperm, impaled on poles.

In this 2007 video of the Krewe du Vieux, Chris Rose rules as the Mad Hatter in the Habitat for Insanity. (NOLA video by Jon Donley)

STRONG CAUTION: This is not an outing for a Sunday School class. KDV has been chastized by the Catholic Church, picketed by Protestants, pilloried by the Politically Correct. It is NOT for children or the easily offended.

Some highlights from the Subkrewes:

KDV's greatest charm is that it is a throwback to the satirical walking krewes that entertained Carnival crowds in the years before formal parade krewes with floats and balls. In the Quarter, with intimate settings in the narrow balconied streets, it's easy be transported back to the 19th Century Mardi Gras activities. The parade encourages close interaction with onlookers, and provides some of the top-name brass bands . . . this year's lineup includes:

Here's Krewe du Vieux's official release:


    King Ronald Lewis Will Guide Mysterious New Route

    Our magical city has a communications director named Quiett. Its web address is City Hall is located on Perdido Street - Spanish for lost. And you want to know where the misery comes from?

    Indeed, it's been quite a detour de force for the whole state and nation this year. Sen. Larry Craig crooned "Blew Gay Way", while our own senator sang "David Vitter's Lonely Whores Club Band"; then joined they both joined the entire Congress in "Fools on the Hill".

    A state judge refused to sing "Cleo Fields Forever", but the New Orleans City Council did a rousing chorus of "I Am The Wal-Mart". Oliver Thomas launched his solo career with "Can Buy My Love", while our D.A. ended his with "Sgt. Eddie's Only Honkies Banned". Faint traces could occasionally be heard of Mayor Nagin's "Nowhere Man"; Governor Blanco's rendition of "Your Mother Should Know" never even made it on the charts; but people all over Louisiana were heard humming "Bobby in the State House With Dimples". The new governor's first hit release was "All We Need Is Cash".

    The walrus was appalled.

    Many versions of "You Never Give Me My Money" were dedicated to the Roadblock Home people. Contractors everywhere belted out "Why Don't We Dump It In The Road?", while all of us here in K-Doeville found salvation with "We All Live In a Jello-Shot Machine".

    Taking full advantage of this string of chart-toppers, the bottom-dwellers of Krewe du Vieux have decided to embark upon a Magical Misery Tour. There will be new Twists on this year's trek through Faubourg Marigny and French Quarter, which will be a loop of looped loopies that will end where it begins. Whether it goes anywhere or not, the parade will take place on the impossibly early date and time of Saturday, January 19 at 6:30 PM.

Krewe du Vieux  

This parade often missed by Mardi Gras tourists is actually the best one, the first one of the season, and the only one that still has the right to parade through the French Quarter. 

 The Mad Hatter himself, King of Krewe Du Vieux, columnist Chris Rose. 2007 Krewe du Vieux packing for 'Magical Misery Tour'

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